Hi, it's Kai
Welcome to my little corner of the internet :)
Please enjoy your stay. if you're having a good time, let's do something together!
(and also feel free to
& tell me what's on your mind!)
Some things I've been exploring lately:
Do any of these resonate with you? Let's go for a walk and talk about it :)
Sometimes, Kai writes.
newly broken
written
love for others
hate for self
love for others
hate for self
love for others
hate for self
tonight, i am newly broken.
the higher i hope
the further i fall
and so i suppose, fall i must
i feel like the universe is laughing at me
like it's funny how i try so hard to get places
and yet
i never really get anywhere
love for others
hate for self
i have trouble looking at myself in the mirror
i don't know who i am anymore
i touch the glass
it's cold
i examine my reflection
something stares back at me
it's not me
i don't know who that is
at least, not anymore
love for others
hate for self
i've been falling for quite some time now
how far have i gone?
a hundred feet? a thousand? maybe more
who knows how far i'll go this time
could there be yet another rock bottom
underneath the one i just fell through?
love for others
hate for self
is this the life i was destined for?
to try so much, just to hurt so much?
i—i don't understand why :(
why don't you love me?
deep down inside i just want to matter.
i just want to be loved.
i just want to be mean something to someone.
i just want to be okay.
please :(
i've been secretly not-okay for so so so so so so so long
i just need a sign please
a little bit of hope
that i am wanted
because like
if not, i'll go.
i don't have to be here, okay?
so please give me a sign that it makes sense for me to be here :(
the ground is rushing up towards me now
everything inside me is screaming
i muster up the energy for a little smile
tears are streaming down my face now
one moment i'm here,
the next moment i'm—
