Hi, it's Kai
Welcome to my little corner of the internet :)
Please enjoy your stay. if you're having a good time, let's do something together!
(and also feel free to
& tell me what's on your mind!)
Some things I've been exploring lately:
Do any of these resonate with you? Let's go for a walk and talk about it :)
Sometimes, Kai writes.
losers
written
i wasn't very popular growing up
in many ways, i was a loser, and people saw me as such
i didn't have a lot of friends, i didn't do a whole lot, and i didn't particularly like myself
a lot of my time was spent hiding away from the world, wishing that things were different wishing that i was different feeling trapped in a life that i didn't sign up for
...
i'm 24 now. i haven't been called a loser in a long time. but of course, i still feel like i'm... different. and i'm sure many others feel the same
and sometimes i still feel sad for no reason— a lingering sense of disconnection that never left
but more and more, i see how being a loser early on has helped me grow, how growing up different helped me break free
because when you're a loser for long enough, you start to become disenchanted with the game the game of who's cool and who's not of should haves and should nots
you give up trying to win the game and after a while, you stop playing in entirely. you begin to think for yourself, feel for yourself, and after a long while, you might even start to believe in yourself— to celebrate what makes you different, rather than detest it
i look around as i walk through the world and i still see so many people playing the game, that game of who's cool and who's not a game of perception and status and lots of pretend and as i walk, i now start to catch myself thinking: thank goodness i was different thank goodness i lost the game early
thank goodness i gave up playing pretend, so that i could start to take being real, seriously.
